Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Definition of a Real Man





Definition of a Real Man
By R. Nelson Valentine

One who has self-confidence but does not show it.
One who keeps his word, his temper and his friends.
One who wins respect by being respectable and respectful.
One who has a steady eye, a steady nerve, a steady tongue and steady habits.
One who is silent when he has nothing to say.
One who is calm when he judges and humble when he misjudges.

That defines a real man and a gentleman, and by these standards, my father is indeed a "Real Man"    ----   Signed by His Proud Daughter in Harrisburg, Pa.
 
***************

I clipped this description from a newspaper years ago, and have saved it for over twenty years. I prayed for my adult daughters to find men like this as their husbands, and G-d answered that prayer.  To my surprise, he also brought one for me seven years ago.  My husband, Rabbi Jem is all of the above, plus so very much more.

Growing up as an only child in an alcoholic home, my role models for men were sadly lacking.  I married very young and very foolishly.  My children’s father and I divorced after eighteen years. I never wanted to marry again.   

G-d had other plans, and He put Rabbi Jem and me together in a miraculous way.  By the time we found each other, I had learned what a good man looked like.  How?  By reading the book of Proverbs.  I found great wisdom about many things, including marriage, business, farming, child-rearing…I could go on and on. 

Proverbs contains thirty-one chapters – one for every day of the month.  I encourage everyone, especially children and teens, to develop a habit of reading Proverbs daily.  Read them over and over and over again on a monthly basis.  You will be amazed how a different verse will jump out at you with each new monthly reading. 

One hilarious piece of wisdom is found in Proverbs 27:14

He that blesses his friend with a loud voice, rising early in the morning, it shall be counted a curse to him.

Isn’t that the truth?  Speaking softly (or not at all) is a blessing for me.  Everyone who knows me can tell you I am not a morning person.  I’ve often quoted this verse to those who don’t understand my morning routine:  stumble to the coffee pot, pour coffee, drink coffee….repeat three times…then we can talk…very softly.

Who knew the Scriptures even speak about how to have peace in the morning?  I, for one, am glad I discovered this verse. 

Proverbs is an amazing collection of wisdom and instruction.  Next week, I will be starting a weekly feature called Wisdom Wednesdays, where I will share some of the many lessons I’ve learned through this book of Scripture, as well as others.  I hope you’ll join me.

Monday, July 29, 2013

What My Mama Taught Me

My Mama - Miss Doris
(Warning:  Although I've always lived in Florida, my roots are in Georgia, so I'll be talkin' to y'all with my heaviest Georgia accent and speakin' like my people...)

Today is my mama's 83rd birthday.  Isn't she pretty?  We took her to Cracker Barrell to celebrate.  She didn't want a birthday cake, so we got her some peach cobbler. 

I come from a long line of strong-willed women, and Mama is a real trooper, having been through many trials in her life and many health challenges.  She's been in a nursing home for almost two years now.  It hasn't been easy, but she's still got her smile and her sense of humor (most days).

I was thinking today of all the many things Mama taught me.  She was born in 1930, on a Georgia farm, and was one of 12 children. Can you imagine?  Her daddy was a share-cropper, and all the children helped with the chores and farming.  One of the funniest stories she told me about farming involved Mama and her younger sister Hazel.

"Daddy told us to go out to the field and plant peas.  Hazel wanted to go to town and have fun instead of planting peas, so she came up with a plan."

"Doris, let's plant a couple of rows and then we can throw the rest in the woods."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Mama said, but went along with the plan. "When we got back to the house, Daddy said, "Y'all finished already?"

"Yes, Sir.  Can we go to town now?"

"Daddy scratched his head and looked at us real stern-faced, but said we could go.  We took off and spent the afternoon walking around the town square so Hazel could flirt with the boys."  Mama says she didn't flirt 'cause she was real shy.

"All went well until the peas started coming up.  The rows we planted were doin' real good, but most of the rows were completely bare.  So, Daddy walked around the field until he found the peas sprouting out there in the woods."

"Was he mad?"

"Oh, yes.  We got in big trouble," she laughed, but wouldn't tell me what their punishment was.

Mama was reared during the Great Depression and so grew up with the values of the Greatest Generation.  These are just a few of the things Mama taught me, and I thank her for every one: 

Go to church
Read the Bible
Pray
Tithe

Respect your parents and grandparents

Say "Yes, Ma'am/Sir" and "No, Ma'am/Sir"

Speak when you're spoken to

Don't talk back

Children should be seen and not heard when adults are talking

Love and stay connected to your family

Help your family

Celebrate holidays and birthdays together with family

Remember birthdays

Write thank you notes
Be on time
Call if you're going to be late

Modesty

Act like a lady

Dress like a lady

Sit like a lady.

Pretty is as pretty does

Practice good table manners

Help your neighbors

Respect people of all races

Practice hospitality

Honor your husband

Prepare 3 meals a day

Eat together as a family
Help clean up the table and kitchen

Have a regular bedtime schedule

Kiss goodnight

Cleanliness / good hygiene

Neatness / order in the home

Pick up after yourself

Mind your own business

Any thing worth doing is worth doing well.

If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all

Don't wear out your welcome

If you want something done right, do it yourself 

Pay your bills.

Don't be on welfare - take care of your self
Be thrifty
Save money for the future

Love the U.S.A.
Respect the flag
Take civic responsibility seriously

Vote (Republican)

Read good books
When you are a guest for dinner, offer to help the hostess before and after the meal
Never take the last piece of chicken, cake, etc.
Thank your hostess, even if you didn't like the food 



Well, y'all, that's just a start.  As I think of more, I'll add them.

What did your mama teach you? 

*********
Post Script:  My dear Mama passed away on April 30, 2015, at 84 years of age.  This is the song she wanted at her funeral.  It was played at my daddy's, too.  They understood each other...and were married for 51 years.





Friday, June 28, 2013

Garden and Pond Tour 2013 - Part 3

One of the beautiful things we saw on this part of the tour.  The statue sits on a wooden bridge, and he is holding a glass jar with fire flies. 

Part 3 of the Merritt Island Ace Hardware Pond  Tour

The last garden we saw on the tour was Kim Raney's on Merritt Island.  I don't know how this woman finds the time to garden because she works full time for Ace Hardware as their garden/pond consultant in addition to working part time at a pet store.  The gardens cover about six acres, and has been a work in progress over the past thirty-five years. 

Kim's home is a lovely stone cottage surrounded by oaks trees.


Beside the house, approaching the gardens....
The back porch looks out over a beautiful natural pond, filled with fish .
This garden is done in shades of purple

Can you see the ceramic peacock among the ferns?

This swing is covered by a "red" passion flower.  I'd never seen that color before.  The white and purple plant grows wild in our area. 

This the cottage garden.  The archway is covered by Confederate jasmine, in full bloom, and smelling heavenly!
More of the cottage garden.  This was my favorite garden of all.
I love this combination of pink and blue
Isn't it lovely to turn a corner and see French doors leading you to another garden?
Kim uses so many elements in her garden spaces.  I love the bird cage.
One of the many places to stop, rest and enjoy the beauty of G-d's creation.  You won't believe what is behind that seating area....
Meet Kim's donkey!  A very friendly pet!
Do you see the "face" on the tree?
Another garden room to enjoy the entertainment provided by the birds ad butterflies.
The entrance to this area is covered by an archway with this unusual plant.  Kim told us it is called Dutchman's Purse.  Very interesting - feels like velvet, but filled with air.
There was much more to Kim's garden, but sadly, my camera battery gave out.  We went on to see an amazing  3,000 sq. ft. enclosed koi pond filled with beautiful orchids, tropical plants and pottery.  There was a very nice shaded seating area, where we rested and enjoyed the koi, that were about a foot long. 

Next was the 5,000 gallon "hippo" pond filled with water lillies and statues of hippos frolicking in the water.

Kim has a beautiful pool with a Hawaiian lanai for parties, surrounded by a tropical garden with small ponds, and paths that lead through bamboo and flowering tropical plants.  

We missed the vegetable gardens because the rains came.  I am sure it is as outstanding and awe-inspiring as the rest of the gardens.  

It was very educational to see the types of plants and flowers that will thrive in this Florida climate.  My husband is the gardener of the family, and he has a long to-do list for our garden.  He said maybe our yard will be on the tour next year.  Here's a picture of The Golden's Pond...
I love my pond, and my sweet husband who built it for me because I love sitting by the water.


Our pond has lights, and is really beautiful at night. 


This is our first night-blooming cereus flower.  We planted it about two years ago. 
You can read more about this amazing plant in this blog post I wrote a couple of years ago.  HERE

Next year, I will be prepared with my "real" camera, an umbrella, and will get an earlier start.  The tour included nineteen gardens, and we only saw five before the rains came. We look forward to the next tour in 2014.


 I'll be sharing with :

Spiritual Sundays
Let's Get Social Sunday
Make Your Home Sing
The Modest Mom
The Better Mom
An Original Belle
Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers!
A Wise Woman Builds
A Hope in Every Season Homemaking Link-Up 
Wildcrafting Wednesdays
The Charm of Home for Home Sweet Home
Home and Garden Thursday at A Delightsome Life
Thought Provoking Thursday
Jill's Home Remedies
Little Natural Cottage

Hearts for Home
Favorite Things
Faith Filled Friday

Weekend Bloggy Reading at   Serenity Now