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Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #25 - Foolish or Wise?

This week we will look at the remainder of verse eleven as well of the rest of Proverb 7 about the Foolish Woman:

She’s the coarse, impulsive type,
whose feet don’t stay at home;

rather, she stalks the streets and squares,
lurking at every streetcorner.

Being impulsive is not wise. Yes, I can hear someone saying, "I love being impulsive. It's fun." I agree in some cases. There are times when you get a great opportunity and you take it without even thinking about it. A good example would be if you were offered a spur of the moment invitation to dinner paid for by a friend. I know I'd rather eat out than cook for sure.

This verse is talking about acting on impulse, without thinking things through. It most certainly includes failing to seek G-d's guidance. (see Proverb 3:6)

It's interesting that the verse links impulsiveness with not staying at home. If you read further in this chapter, you will see that this woman is married, and her husband is out of town. Her interests are not centered in the home and her husband. She has decided to seek excitement elsewhere. She's decided to go out and party and have some fun. Obviously, she hasn't thought this through.

The verse says she was out on the streets. I don't know if there were bars back during this time, but today's equivalent of being on the streets would be going to bars and clubs. It's always been my opinion that bars are frequented by people looking for one of two things: alcohol or relationships.

Yes, I'm old fashioned and I don't apologize for it. I believe that if you have friends who like to hang out in bars and clubs, you are asking for trouble, ladies. If a man sees you there, he thinks you are there for more than alcohol. And if you are honest, you know he's right.

Affairs don't "just happen". There are steps to becoming involved with someone other than your husband. The first step is impulse: the quick decision to go out and have some fun apart from your husband. That is dangerous and it is not wise.

Thinking things through would include asking yourself: would I want my husband to do what I'm doing? Would I want him to be in this environment or situation? More importantly, would G-d approve of my thoughts and actions?

Verses thirteen through twenty-three read like a soap opera or a current television show. This woman's actions are that of a prostitute, although she probably doesn't think of herself that way.

I see many women, single and married, modeling their lives after the foolish women they see on television, movies and music videos. Those women are role models of how to be a prostitute. These are the role models many young girls are aspiring to become. How sad.

Who is teaching the young women to be G-dly, pure women? I raise my hand, even though my views are not popular. I will probably even be called judgmental, but the opinions of others do not sway me. I look to G-d for His approval, and He has commanded me to teach these truths diligently. (see Deuteronomy 6:1-9)

Dear Gail-Friends, young and old, this woman is foolish and her behavior will have consequences as we see in the remainder of the chapter:

²⁴So now, children, listen to me;
pay attention to what I am saying.
²⁵Don’t let your heart turn to her ways;
don’t stray onto her paths.
²⁶For many are those she has struck down dead,
numerous those she has killed.
²⁷Her house is the way to Sh’ol;
it leads down to the halls of death.

Proverb 7 is an example of the woman we don't want to be, while Proverb 31 is an example of the woman we are to become. I urge you to read these two chapters and evaluate your own behavior.

Proverb 7 is also an example of the type of woman we would avoid, and Proverb 31 is an example of the type of woman we would choose as a friend. Again, read the two chapters and evaluate your friends. It is not wise to hang out with girlfriends who think the behavior of the woman in this chapter is acceptable. If you go with a friend just because she doesn't want to go alone, you are putting yourself in a risky situation.

Next week, I will show you some very interesting things about these two chapters related to the Torah.

*****************
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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #14 - A Blessing for Wives

Continueing our study of Proverbs 31, this week I will share how this passage is incorporated into our weekly Shabbat service.

On Shabbat we take a break from our mundane weekly routine. It is a time to regroup and pray, to eat and rejoice, to spend time with family and friends, to study and share. Most of all, we turn away from the world and draw near to Hashem. It is a time to be refreshed.

In our synagogue, we do the traditional Jewish liturgy in both Hebrew and English. My husband, Rabbi Jem, leads the service, but I have a part also. Each week, I light the candles (see the photo above) and say this prayer:

Blessed are You, oh L-rd, our G-d, King of the Universe; Who has sanctified us in Your Word, and given us Yeshua our Messiah, and commanded us to be light to the world. Ah-main.

Later, during the liturgy, my husband leads the husbands of the congregation in the blessing of the wife:

A woman of valor who can find, she is worth far more than precious jewels. The heart of her husband safely trusts in her, and he profits greatly thereby. (based on Proverbs 31)

It is such a good feeling to be blessed by my husband. He looks into my eyes and shows me his approval as he speaks the blessing. I love it.

My husband not only does this on Shabbat, but every day of our lives. He often says, "Have I told you today how much I love you?" Usually, he already has. (big smile here)

Every morning he greets me with, "Good morning, Gorgeous." As I said last week, I am far from gorgeous first thing in the morning, but I love hearing it.

He compliments my cooking no matter what I put on the table. Even if all I do is open a can of soup he says, "This is a delicious meal."

I say, "All I did was open the can and warm it up."

He'll smile and say, "But you do it so well."

I am very blessed to be loved by him, and I pray to never take it for granted. I love him, too, and I esteem him above every man I've ever known. I know part of the reason he is such a fine gentleman is the teachings he received from his conservative Jewish father and mother. They have passed away, but I am grateful to them for teaching him to be such a loving, kind husband.

He is what is known in Judaism as a "mensch" - a good, righteous man. His favorite saying is, "Do the right thing," and he is a perfect example of practicing what he preaches.

No matter where we are, he is constantly on the look out for someone who needs help. A good example: last week, a big box fell off a truck at an intersection. He stopped the car, got out, and picked up the debris. Another time, he spent twenty minutes trying to retrieve a little girl's wayward balloon in a grocery store. What a guy.

I admire him, respect him and am so honored to be his wife and partner in ministry. I love being loved by him.

***
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Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #13 - True Beauty

The focus for today from Proverbs 31 is the second part of verse twenty-eight, to the end of the chapter:

ק ²⁸Her children arise; they make her happy;

her husband too, as he praises her:
ר ²⁹“Many women have done wonderful things, but you surpass them all!”

ש ³⁰Charm can lie, beauty can vanish,
but a woman who fears Adonai should be praised.
ת ³¹Give her a share in what she produces;
let her works speak her praises at the city gates.**

Every day of my life my sweet husband greets me with, "Good Morning, Gorgeous!" He says this when I look a mess - no makeup, with bed-head, stumbling toward the kitchen for my first cup of coffee. He says I don't need makeup, but my mirror tells me the truth: I go to bed looking like Elizabeth Taylor, and wake up looking like Charles DeGaulle.

I love his praises of my outward beauty, but that's not the most important thing to me. I love it more when he says, "You are a true Proverbs 31 woman." He also tells me quite often, "You are the best wife in the world." That really makes me so happy because it is the desire of my heart. That is my goal, because as the verse says, "Charm can lie, and beauty can vanish."

We live in a culture that focuses on outward beauty. Women get focused on their bodies and make physical fitness or being sexy their god. Some get focused on clothing and have to buy the best labels of clothes, shoes or handbags. Women cut their bodies through plastic surgery in order to have smaller thighs or bigger breasts. This is all wrong.

Health is important. Looking our best is important. But these things are not the most important thing. Inner beauty and wisdom and righteousness do not fade away. On the contrary, they keep a woman beautiful until she passes away from this world.

I have known several G-dly women in their eighties and nineties who radiate the beauty and joy of ADONAI. They have a glow about them because His Word and Spirit are the driving forces of their lives. I hope you have known a Proverbs 31 woman. If you have, make her your role model for the years ahead.

If you don't know a G-dly woman, be that kind of woman yourself, and teach the younger women G-d's ways. He has given you His manual for womanhood in Proverbs 31 and other Scriptures. I pray you will take His instructions to heart. You will be blessed.

Next week, I will share with you how Jewish husbands bless and praise their wives every week during Shabbat.

** from the Complete Jewish Bible

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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #12 - Happy Mothers

We are almost to the end of Proverb 31, and today our focus is on:

ק ²⁸Her children arise; they make her happy; (The Complete Jewish Bible)

Since I did not convert to Messianic Judaism until eight years ago, my daughters were not reared that way. They were reared in the church, and our life revolved around church services and activities.

I thought you, Dear Gail-Friends would enjoy reading this piece, which I pretty much modeled as a mother while rearing my children. I found it decades ago, so I'm not sure who wrote it. I've heard that it came from Ann Lander's column in a newspaper.
***

The Meanest Mother in the World

"We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things, other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays.

Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that's what is wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore."

***

I get tickled every time I read this piece because it reminds me so much of myself. My oldest daughter loves to tell her favorite story about her teenage years She says, "When my friends talk about the music videos back in the 80's, I tell them I don't know about them because I was in prison. My mom didn't let me watch MTV." I don't feel sorry for her one bit, and we laugh about it.

So take heart, young mothers. Your children might think you're mean while they are growing up, but that's okay. I believe that if you keep on obeying G-d in rearing and teaching them, they will turn out to be good people.

Parenting is serious business, because we are shaping a man or woman for G-d's Kingdom. One thing I always kept foremost in my mind was that I was not called to be their friend. I was called to be their mother. I was responsible to G-d for what I allowed in my home, and how I reared my daughters.

We are friends now, but I am still responsible for my role as a mother in teaching and mentoring them when an opportunity presents itself. I will be a mother until I pass away from this world.

I prayed to conceive my children, and did my very best to rear them the way G-d desires. I made plenty of mistakes, but they turned out well, and I'm very proud of them. My greatest joy is to know that they are walking in obedience to Hashem. Both of my daughters say I was a good mother, and that makes me very happy, just as verse twenty-eight says.

Next week, we'll talk about the second part of the verse.

***
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Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #11 - Idleness

As promised, this week, we'll focus on the second part of this verse from Proverbs 31:

צ ²⁷She watches how things go in her house,
        not eating the bread of idleness.

When I think of all the work women had to do in Bible times, I wonder how they would ever have time to be idle, don't you?

The internet is my greatest time waster. I liken it to browsing in a library, which is one of my favorite things to do. I can sit down to look up a phone number, and a couple of hours later I'm still there, learning about travel to Great Britain or pinning house projects and recipes on Pinterest. The odd thing about it is, it feels like I'm busy. I'm not. I'm being idle. Wasting time.

With all the many things I do, and have to keep track of, I've found it helpful to keep a list like this on a clipboard. It really helps me stay organized and focused.

On the back, I have a column for "To Buy" and "House Projects" - with lots of space to write notes to myself. I'm a list-maker, and love crossing things off.

I also use the Six Most Important Things list idea, which I learned from Mary Kay Ash. Every day, I make a list of those things to do, and I categorize them by importance or urgency. Then, I start with number one and work my way down. If I don't finish, I add it to tomorrow's list. This really works well for me.

These are all in addition to my daily routine of house maintenance, cooking three meals a day, and laundry. I've found it really helpful to just do a little bit every day, rather than a full day of housecleaning.

If I finish everything on my list, then I can enjoy some time on Pinterest without guilt.

One of my all-time favorite books is Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Ann Ortlund. She taught me a great deal about discipline and organization. I highly recommend every woman read it.

I'd love to know what helps you stay organized and focused.

Shavua Tov! (Have a good week)
***
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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Wisdom Wednesday #10 - Happy Homekeeping

Our study of Proverbs 31 today brings us to:

צ ²⁷She watches how things go in her house,

The first part of this verse wraps up what has been said in the verses before. It is saying not to neglect your home.

I haven't always been a good housekeeper. As a matter of fact, my house was a mess until I learned to be a Proverbs 31 woman. Years ago when I started to apply this scripture, I cross-stitched this verse as a reminder to put it into practice:

It hangs over my stove now, and has hung on the wall of my kitchen in every home since the 1970's. Each time I see it I'm reminded of my priorities.

Because it is from the Holy Scriptures, it reminds me that this is what ADONAI wants me to do as a home-keeper.

The sign reminds me to keep my home clean and neat, and to take care of what G-d has given me. I don't want to become so busy with outside pursuits that I neglect my home duties of cleaning, laundry, and preparing healthy meals.

I'm also reminded to make our home a place of peace above everything else. I want to keep a sweet spirit there at all times, and to keep a welcoming atmosphere prepared for anyone who visits. If things become cluttered, I feel stressed, so I like to keep things picked up and clean. By doing this, I'm not afraid of drop-in visitors, and can open my door without worry.

When my children were growing up, I also had two other sayings framed on my wall that kept me focused on my priorities. The first is:

My house is clean enough to be healthy

And dirty enough to be happy

I don't want to be so focused on cleaning that I become obsessed with it. There is a balance, and I have found it, through trial and error.

The second saying is:

Cleaning and dusting can wait till tomorrow

Cause children grow up,

we learn to our sorrow

While cleaning is important, my family members come before that. If something comes up that involves one of them, the cleaning can wait.

I believe a woman's home is a reflection of her heart. When I walk into someone's home, I can tell a great deal by the atmosphere there, including the decorations as well as her demeanor. I should qualify this with the statement that children's toys in the living room are not considered clutter and messiness in my book. And, of course, we all have times that things aren't as clean and nice as we'd like. Something is wrong, though, if your life is like that all the time....if you live in a mess day in and day out, or if you can't invite people in because you'd be embarassed because your house looks like a dump all the time.

Proverbs 31 can move you out of a stressful life of mess. Ask him to help you apply this passage to your life. It worked for me, and I know it will work for you.

You don't have the finest furniture or most expensive decorations to have a pretty and welcoming home. I think almost everything in my home has been bought at a yard sale or a thrift shop, but it is pretty to me and I think it reflects a heart that loves Hashem and people.

There is a second part of this verse (about idleness), and we will talk about that next week.
~~~~~
I saw a funny thing on Facebook today:

I love looking at snow

on Facebook

from Florida

Most of the country is dealing with cold, snowy weather. Even north Florida is expecting snow today. So, stay warm and safe, and don't hate me because I live in sunny central Florida. :)

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