Golden Cottage Happenings

 

 

 Yes, we did eat our traditional Southern meal on New Years Day of black-eyed peas, turnip greens, rice, turkey sausage, and cornbread.  Sooo good!!!  No, we didn't stay up to see  the ball drop.  We went to bed about 10:00pm, but woke up when the final fireworks extravaganza went off in the neighborhood.  Thankfully, it only lasted a few minutes.  

For years, I made a list of new year resolutions, but don't do that any more.  I prefer to make a gratitude list of all the blessing of the past year.  I keep an "almost daily" journal, so it's easy to look back over the year behind me.  I started this practice years ago with the Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah), but am going to apply it on the secular new year, too.  This will keep me in the habit of thanksgiving lists every six months.

I also keep a prayer journal that I started decades ago (around 1984-5). George Mueller's book played a big part in this important habit.  Remembering  what Hashem has done in our lives is important because it's easy to forget all of Hashem's blessings and the answered prayers.

                               

These are my blessings in 2023:

Rabbi Jem and I have general good health and strength.  My prayer is for both of us to be like Moses, "whose eyes were not dimmed and whose foot did not stumble."   I prayer for both physical and spiritual vision, and for physical and spiritual strength.  (more about that later)

Rabbi Jem is officially retired now, except for the synagogue, of course.

Spending more time with our daughter's family, especially the grands.  We're so blessed to live near them.

Enjoying our grandson's band and chorus concerts. 

Our new family member, a high energy teenager we call Lucy Loo.  We tell people she's part coyote and part goat. . . because she loves to run, and she eats everything, including my post-it-notes and bookmarks.. We rescued her from the local pound, and they'd named her Lucy.  We kept that name because she makes us laugh like Lucy Ricardo on the I love Lucy TV show.   We prayed for the dog we needed and the one who needed us.  God knows what He's doing for sure. 

                                   

Our synagogue family, especially my loving "sisters".

Our work on political causes and volunteer opportunities. 

My writing critique partners, Peggy and Betty. Such a blessing to have two retired English teachers!

Healing from my knee surgery. I was pretty much out of commission for five months.   Next month will be one year since the surgery.  I'm feeling like myself -- the self before the pain. (This, plus the surgery recovery is a total of four years. A word to the wise:  if you're told you need a knee replacement, just do it.)

Physical therapy that has made so much difference in my recovery.

The lessons I've learned through trials.  I've learned that when troubles come into my life, Hashem wants to teach me something.  I call them "Golden Nuggets".  The trials I've gone through have humbled me.  This year I learned, once again, that studying and following His Torah develops wisdom, common sense, and discernment.  

 

 

This year, I learned to recognize the workings of satan and to resist them immediately.   I'm very long-suffering and keep going with people because I hope and pray they will repent and return to Hashem's Word, will, and ways.  I learned when and how to let go.  I still pray for them, but turn them over to Him.

One of my blessings, in addition to Torah study, is the (almost) daily reading of the book of Proverbs. (I call it Hashem's psychology book.) This year, I took notes about the three types of people:  the wicked/evil, the foolish, and the godly/righteous.

 I challenge you to do a study on this for yourself.  Make three columns on a sheet of paper.  Read a chapter of Proverbs each day, making notes about the actions of each type of person in their column.  It's truly eye opening.  I learned to get away from the evil people, work with the foolish as long as they are teachable (Proverbs 26:4-5), and to live out the characteristics of a godly woman. In Judaism, a righteous man is called a mensch. . . maybe a woman is a mensch-ette??  Any way, that's my desire (see the banner at the top of my blog).

There are so many more blessings.  My blog posts for 2023 will show you more, especially the blessings of following Judaism.  Check them out in the links on the left of the blog.  I'm amazed that I did thirty-six posts!! 

Hope y'all have a fantastic year ahead, Gail-Friends!

 

 

 

Wisdom Words - My Words on Social Media

                                          

Wisdom is a TREE OF LIFE to those who grasp her; 

whoever holds fast to her will be made happy.

Proverbs 3:18

Continuing my series on WORDS:

Watching my words is a challenge sometimes, especially on social media.  It's so easy to just say whatever comes to our minds, right?  For one thing, we're not present with the person we're criticizing (Ex: politics) or taking the time to think about how they would feel if they read those words or had them spoken to their face.  Ouch! I'm guilty and have often had to go back and delete things I've said because I felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit about my words.  I'm thankful for His forgiveness when I repent.

The book of Proverbs has much to say on the subject of WORDS (lips, tongue, mouth, etc).  There's a lot to chew on there, and lately I've been relating them to social media, especially on Facebook. All of the following verses are from Proverbs 15:

A gentle response deflects fury,
    but a harsh word makes tempers rise (v1)

 The tongue of the wise presents knowledge well,
    but the mouth of a fool spews out folly. (v2)

  A healing tongue is a tree of life,
but a deceitful one crushes the spirit.(v4)

 

 The lips of the wise spread knowledge,
but not so the heart of fools. (v7)

 A person has joy in an appropriate answer—
how good is a timely word. (v23)

 Evil thoughts are an abomination to Adonai,
but pleasant words are pure. (v27)

A righteous heart thinks before answering,
but a wicked mouth blurts out evil things.(v28)

Honestly, I feel frustrated by what I see happening in my country and, in the past, I've ranted on social media.  But daily reading of the Scriptures convicts me of my sins.  Complaining and grumbling are sin-FULL, and do nothing to change the situation.   I can, however, turn my frustrations about politics into positive action:

I can turn my CARES into PRAYERS.  When I feel concerned about a news story I read, I can immediately ask G-d for the right thoughts.  I can pray about that situation or for that person.

I can remind myself of my own motto:  You can say anything in a nice way.

I can ask G-d to guide my words before I press that ENTER button.
 
I can easily send an e-mail to government officials (local, state and federal) to let my concerns be known directly to him or her.

I can still speak out about current events on social media, using  the right words.  I can use words that are:  gentle, healing, wise, appropriate, pleasant, pure and righteous (all from the verses above).

This is important because I feel strongly about speaking out on social issues.  I just have to pray about the words I use in doing it.  I don't want to speak hasty, deceitful, harsh, discouraging or reactive words.  My desire, above all, is to inspire to action.

This quote is relevant to my concerns for my country:

 "The world is a dangerous place to live; 

not because of the people who are evil, 

but because of the people who don't do anything about it."

 ~Albert Einstein

The voices of the righteous, G-d fearing people are not to go silent.  We are to speak out and share the truth so desperately needed by our society.  I pray for G-d to use my words for such a time as this.

***********

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Wisdom Wednesday #13 - True Beauty

The focus for today from Proverbs 31 is the second part of verse twenty-eight, to the end of the chapter:

ק ²⁸ Her children arise; they make her happy; 

        her husband too, as he praises her:
ר ²⁹ “Many women have done wonderful things, but you surpass them all!”  

ש ³⁰ Charm can lie, beauty can vanish,
        but a woman who fears Adonai should be praised.
ת ³¹ Give her a share in what she produces;
        let her works speak her praises at the city gates.**

Every day of my life my sweet husband greets me with, "Good Morning, Gorgeous!" He says this when I look a mess - no makeup, with bed-head, stumbling toward the kitchen for my first cup of coffee.  He says I don't need makeup, but my mirror tells me the truth:  I go to bed looking like Elizabeth Taylor, and wake up looking like Charles DeGaulle.  

I love his praises  of my outward beauty, but that's not the most important thing to me.   I love it more when he says, "You are a true Proverbs 31 woman."  He also tells me quite often, "You are the best wife in the world." That really makes me so happy because it is the desire of my heart.  That is my goal, because as the verse says, "Charm can lie, and beauty can vanish."  

We live in a culture that focuses on outward beauty.  Women get focused on their bodies and make physical fitness or being sexy their god.  Some get focused on clothing and have to buy the best labels of clothes, shoes or handbags.  Women cut their bodies through plastic surgery in order to have smaller thighs or bigger breasts.  This is all wrong.  

Health is important.  Looking our best is important.  But these things are not the most important thing.  Inner beauty and wisdom and righteousness do not fade away.  On the contrary, they keep a woman beautiful until she passes away from this world.  

I have known several G-dly women in their eighties and nineties who radiate the beauty and joy of  ADONAI.  They have a glow about them because His Word and Spirit are the driving forces of their lives.  I hope you have known a Proverbs 31 woman.  If you have,  make her your role model for the  years ahead.  

If you don't know a G-dly woman, be that kind of woman yourself, and teach the younger women G-d's ways.  He has given you His manual for womanhood in Proverbs 31 and other Scriptures. I pray you will take His instructions to heart.  You will be blessed.

Next week, I will share with you how Jewish husbands bless and praise their wives every week during Shabbat.

** from the Complete Jewish Bible

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Wisdom Wednesday #12 - Happy Mothers

 

We are almost to the end of Proverb 31, and today our focus is on:

        

ק ²⁸ Her children arise; they make her happy; (The Complete Jewish Bible)
     

Since I did not convert to Messianic Judaism until eight years ago, my daughters were not reared that way.  They were reared in the church, and our life revolved around church services and activities.

I thought you, Dear Gail-Friends would enjoy reading this piece, which I pretty much modeled as a mother while rearing my children. I found it decades ago, so I'm not sure who wrote it. I've heard that it came from Ann Lander's column in a newspaper.
***

The Meanest Mother in the World

"We had the meanest mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from other kids had, too.

Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less.

We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on us telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

By the time we were teenagers, she could read our minds. Then, life was really tough! Mother wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16.

Because of our mother, we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. None of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property, or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. We never got drunk, took up smoking, stayed out all night, or a million other things, other kids did. Sundays were reserved for church, and we never missed once. We knew better than to ask to spend the night with a friend on Saturdays.

Now that we have left home, we are all God-fearing, educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that's what is wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms anymore."

***

I get tickled every time I read this piece because it reminds me so much of myself.  My oldest daughter loves to tell her favorite story about her teenage years  She says, "When my friends talk about the music videos back in the 80's, I tell them I don't know about them because I was in prison. My mom didn't let me watch MTV."  I don't feel sorry for her one bit, and we laugh about it.  

So take heart, young mothers.  Your children might think you're mean while they are growing up, but that's okay.  I believe that if you keep on obeying G-d in rearing and teaching them, they will turn out to be good people.

Parenting is serious business, because we are shaping a man or woman for G-d's Kingdom.  One thing I always kept foremost in my mind was that I was not called to be their friend.  I was called to be their mother.  I was responsible to G-d for what I allowed in my home, and how I reared my daughters. 

We are friends now, but I am still responsible for my role as a mother in teaching and mentoring them when an opportunity presents itself.  I will be a mother until I pass away from this world. 

I prayed to conceive my children, and did my very best to rear them the way G-d desires.  I made plenty of mistakes, but they turned out well, and I'm very proud of them.  My greatest joy is to know that they are walking in obedience to Hashem.  Both of my daughters say I was a good mother, and that makes me very happy, just as verse twenty-eight says.  

Next week, we'll talk about the second part of the verse. 

***
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Wisdom Wednesday #11 - Idleness

As promised, this week, we'll focus on the second part of this verse from Proverbs 31:

צ ²⁷ She watches how things go in her house,
        not eating the bread of idleness.
 
When I think of all the work women had to do in Bible times, I wonder how they would ever have time to be idle, don't you?  


The internet is my greatest time waster.  I liken it to browsing in a library, which is one of my favorite things to do.  I can sit down to look up a phone number, and a couple of hours later I'm still there, learning about travel to Great Britain or pinning house projects and recipes on Pinterest.  The odd thing about it is, it feels like I'm busy.  I'm not.  I'm being idle.  Wasting time.


With all the many things I do, and have to keep track of, I've found it helpful to keep a list like this on a clipboard. It really helps me stay organized and focused.  

On the back, I have a column for "To Buy" and "House Projects" - with lots of space to write notes to myself.  I'm a list-maker, and love crossing things off.  

I also use the Six Most Important Things list idea, which I learned from Mary Kay Ash.  Every day, I make a list of those things to do, and I categorize them by importance or urgency.  Then, I start with number one and work my way down.  If I don't finish, I add it to tomorrow's list.  This really works well for me. 


These are all in addition to my daily routine of house maintenance, cooking three meals a day, and laundry.  I've found it really helpful to just do a little bit every day, rather than a full day of housecleaning. 

If I finish everything on my list, then I can enjoy some time on Pinterest without guilt.  

One of my all-time favorite books is Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman by Ann Ortlund.  She taught me a great deal about discipline and organization.  I highly recommend every woman read it.

I'd love to know what helps you stay organized and focused.

Shavua Tov! (Have a good week)
***
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Wisdom Wednesday #10 - Happy Homekeeping

       
Our study of Proverbs 31 today brings us to:

צ ²⁷ She watches how things go in her house,

The first part of this verse wraps up what has been said in the verses before.  It is saying not to neglect your home.
       
I haven't always been a good housekeeper.  As a matter of fact, my house was a mess until I learned to be a Proverbs 31 woman.  Years ago when I started to apply this scripture, I cross-stitched this verse as a reminder to put it into practice:  

It hangs over my stove now, and has hung on the wall of my kitchen in every home since the 1970's.  Each time I see it I'm reminded of my priorities.  

Because it is from the Holy Scriptures, it reminds me that this is what ADONAI wants me to do as a home-keeper.

The sign reminds me to keep my home clean and neat, and to take care of what G-d has given me.  I don't want to become so busy with outside pursuits that I neglect my home duties of cleaning, laundry, and preparing healthy meals. 

I'm also reminded to make our home a place of peace above everything else.  I want to keep a sweet spirit there at all times, and to keep a welcoming atmosphere prepared for anyone who visits.  If things become cluttered, I feel stressed, so I like to keep things picked up and clean. By doing this, I'm not afraid of drop-in visitors, and can open my door without worry. 

When my children were growing up, I also had two other sayings framed on my wall that kept me focused on my priorities.  The first is:

My house is clean enough to be healthy

And dirty enough to be happy

I don't want to be so focused on cleaning that I become obsessed with it.  There is a balance, and I have found it, through trial and error.   

The second saying is: 

Cleaning and dusting can wait till tomorrow

Cause children grow up, 

we learn to our sorrow

While cleaning is important, my family members come before that.  If something comes up that involves one of them, the cleaning can wait.

I believe a woman's home is a reflection of her heart.  When I walk into someone's home, I can tell a great deal by the atmosphere there, including the decorations as well as her demeanor.  I should qualify this with the statement that children's toys in the living room are not considered clutter and messiness in my book.  And, of course, we all have times that things aren't as clean and nice as we'd like.  Something is wrong, though, if your life is like that all the time....if you live in a mess day in and day out, or if you can't invite people in because you'd be embarassed because your house looks like a dump all the time.  

Proverbs 31 can move you out of a stressful life of mess.  Ask him to help you apply this passage to your life.  It worked for me, and I know it will work for you.

You don't have the finest furniture or most expensive decorations to have a pretty and welcoming home.  I think almost everything in my home has been bought at a yard sale or a thrift shop, but it is pretty to me and I think it reflects a heart that loves Hashem and people.  

There is a second part of this verse (about idleness), and we will talk about that next week.  
~~~~~
 I saw a funny thing on Facebook today:  

I love looking at snow

on Facebook

from Florida

Most of the country is dealing with cold, snowy weather.  Even north Florida is expecting snow today.  So, stay warm and safe, and don't hate me because I live in sunny central Florida.  :)

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Wisdom Wednesday # 8 - Strong Women

Continuing our study of Proverbs 31 today:
       ע ²⁵ (She is) Clothed with strength and dignity,
        she can laugh at the days to come. **

Have you ever thought of yourself as clothed in strength and dignity? I think this is a picture of a true lady.  Jackie Kennedy and Queen Elizabeth come to mind as secular examples.  Catherine Marshall and Anne Ortlund are authors who exemplify these qualities in the writing world.

Sometimes I think being a lady is a lost art.  I'm thankful for a grandmother, as well as a mother, my aunts and many other G-dly women who have taught me the fine points of lady-likeness:

To speak with grace and kindness
To dress, walk, stand and sit modestly
To be polite and have good manners
To ignore coarse comments and jokes, smile...and change the subject
To act with poise and politeness in all situations
To avoid gossip
To talk with others with interest (not to be self-centered)
To say "please" and "thank you"
To notice the needs of others and respond  
To respect others, and expect the same

My sweet husband says one of the first things he noticed about me (at age sixteen) was that I was a lady.  I like that, because it was then, and still is my desire.  Am I perfect in every way?  No, but the Father is not finished with me yet.

I come from a long line of strong women.  Some would call them hard headed or stubborn, too, and I've been called those names myself.  Experience has taught me to harness my strong will and submit it to the Father. 

I used to think I could accomplish anything I put my mind to and even bragged about it.  Then, the Father taught me a new lesson about His strength when I ran into something I absolutely could not accomplish.  The goal was related to a sales business I was in.  I set a goal and could not reach it, no matter how hard I tried.  I prayed, I worked night and day, and yet nothing came together and the goal was not met.  My career in that field was finished.  I remember lying on the floor of my living room, crying out to G-d, feeling  He had forsaken me. 

My Father had not forsaken me.  He was putting a great big STOP sign in my path and telling me to go in a different direction.  That new path led eventually to being in ministry with my rabbi husband, which I could not even imagine at the time.  Because of His strength to overcome my strong will, I was led to so many blessings.

His strength can accomplish so much more than mine.  I've learned through trial and error to trust His strength instead of my own.  Because of this wisdom, I can laugh at the days to come.  

If you've ever been a worrier, you will find that statement laughable.  Worriers live in the future, imagining "what-ifs" about their problems.    I know because I've indulged in worry at certain periods of my life.  I don't want to live that way.  G-d is faithful to lead us and work in our lives, even when bad things happen.  He will show us what to do when we trust Him.  

Who comes to your mind when you think of the term lady?

**Quotations from The Complete Jewish Bible


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Wisdom Wednesday #7 - A Good Man

Our study of Proverbs 31 brings us to this verse:

נ ²³ Her husband is known at the city gates
        when he sits with the leaders of the land.

How, we may ask, does this apply to a woman today?  We learn from this verse that this woman's husband is respected and he is wise.   He has a good reputation, and associates with other wise men.  

Selecting a husband is so important because G-d wants us to stay married forever.  He will lead a single woman to the man He wants for her...if she will seek His wisdom.  

Because I married at age 17, a week after graduating from high school, and because I did not seek G-d's wisdom, that marriage was not a good one, and ended in divorce.  Unfortunately, I married again, and it ended in divorce also.  Can you imagine how I felt with two divorces behind me?  

G-d hates divorce, and I hate it, too. Unfortunately, I did not know how to recognize a "good" man...a wise man.  I was fond of saying, "Marriage is like having your teeth drilled without Novocaine."  I determined that I was incapable of being married, and resigned myself to life as a single woman.  I never intended to marry again.  

I didn't date.  All I did was work at my job and study the Bible.  I spent hours alone with G-d, seeking His face and wisdom, worshiping Him, and listening to Him.  During that period of time, I was led to Messianic Judaism.  I never, ever dreamed G-d would give me my own, personal rabbi.  When G-d put us together almost eight years ago, it was very clear He desired for us to marry and minister together.  It has been a beautiful and fruitful marriage.  Because of my desire for wisdom, I grew to know and recognize what a "good" man looks and acts like.  

During the years I was growing in His wisdom, I prayed for my two daughters (from my first marriage) to find good, wise men as husbands.  Even though I didn't know how to recognize one myself, G-d honored that prayer.  When I was praying for them, I didn't imagine G-d would bring one for me, too.  Both of my daughters have wonderful husbands, and I am so thankful that G-d put them together.

Whether you are single, divorced, young or old, it is important to seek G-d's face and wisdom about a husband.  He will hear and honor your prayers.  My advice is to read Proverbs daily, and make notes about what a wise man does.  Also make notes about what a foolish man does.  If I had followed this advice, I'd have never married the first two men.  (This advice applies in other areas also, such as friendships and business relationships.)

Remember, it is never too late to become wise.  I am proof of that statement, and G-d can use broken vessels, like me.  He can put the pieces back together and make something beautiful.






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