The Silent Tragedy Affecting Today's Children

“I know that many would choose not to hear what I say in the article, but your children need you to hear this message. Even if you disagree with my perspective, please, just follow the recommendations at the end of the article. Once you see the positive changes in your child’s life, you will understand why I say what I say!” ~V.P.


Victoria Prooday is a registered Occupational Therapist and an outspoken advocate of children and hands-on parenting. I share her post with her permission because I believe her advice is absolutely on target.

The silent tragedy affecting today’s children

by Victoria Prooday

"There is a silent tragedy developing right now, in our homes, with our children. Through my work with hundreds of children and families as an occupational therapist, I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes.

Talk to teachers and professionals who have been working in the field for the last 15 years. You will hear concerns on kids’ mental health similar to mine. Moreover, in the past 15 years, researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in kids’ mental illness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:

• 1 in 5 children has mental health problems
• 43% increase in ADHD
• 37% increase in teen depression
• 200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old

How Much More Evidence Do We Need Before We Wake Up?

No, “increased diagnostics alone” is not the answer!

No, “they all are just born like this” is not the answer!

No, “it is all the school system’s fault” is not the answer!

Yes, as painful as it can be to admit, in many (not all) cases, WE, parents, are the answer to many of our kids’ struggles!

It is scientifically proven that the brain has the capacity to rewire itself through the environment. Unfortunately, with the environment and parenting styles that we are providing to our children, we are rewiring their brains in the wrong direction and contributing to their challenges in everyday life.

Yes, there are and always have been children who are born with disabilities and despite their parents’ best efforts to provide them with a well-balanced environment and parenting, their children continue to struggle. These are NOT the children I am talking about here.

I am talking about many others whose challenges are greatly shaped by the environmental factors that parents, with their greatest intentions, provide to their children. As I have seen in my practice, the moment parents change their perspective on parenting, many of these children change.

 

What is Wrong With Our Children?

Today’s children are being deprived of the fundamentals of a healthy childhood, such as:

• Emotionally available parents
• Clearly defined limits and guidance
• Responsibilities
• Balanced nutrition and adequate sleep
• Movement and outdoors
• Creative play, social interaction, opportunities for unstructured times and boredom

Instead, children are being raised by:

• Digitally distracted parents
• Indulgent parents who let kids “rule the world”
• Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility
• Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
• Sedentary indoor lifestyle
• Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification, and absence of dull moments

Could anyone imagine that it is possible to raise a healthy generation in such an unhealthy environment? Of course not! There are no shortcuts to parenting, and we can’t trick human nature. As we see, the outcomes are devastating. Our children pay for the loss of well-balanced childhood with their emotional well-being.

 

How to Fix It?

If we want our children to grow into happy and healthy individuals, we have to wake up and go back to the basics. It is still possible! I know this because hundreds of my clients see positive changes in their kids’ emotional state within weeks (and in some cases, even days) of implementing these recommendations:

Set limits and remember that you are your child’s PARENT at this time, not a friend.

Offer kids well-balanced lifestyle filled with what kids NEED, not just what they WANT. Don’t be afraid to say “No!” to your kids if what they want is not what they need.

• Provide nutritious food and limits snacks. Avoid toxic foods.
• Spend one hour a day in green space: biking, hiking, fishing, watching birds/insects.
• Have a daily technology-free family dinner.
• Play one board game a day. (List of family games) Allow for unstructured play.
• Involve your child in one or more chores a day (folding laundry, tidying up toys, hanging clothes, unpacking groceries, setting the table etc).
• Implement consistent sleep routine to ensure that your child gets lots of sleep in a technology-free bedroom.

Teach responsibility and independence. Don’t over-protect them from small failures. It trains them the skills needed to overcome greater life’s challenges.

• Don’t pack your child’s backpack, don’t carry her backpack, don’t bring to school his forgotten lunch box/agenda, and don’t peel a banana for a 5-year-old child. Teach them the skills rather than do it for them.

Teach delayed gratification and provide opportunities for “boredom” as boredom is the time when creativity awakens:

• Don’t feel responsible for being your child’s entertainment crew.
• Do not use technology as a cure for boredom.
• Avoid using technology during meals, in cars, restaurants, malls. Use these moments as opportunities to train their brains to function under “boredom”.
• Help them create a “boredom first aid kit” with activity ideas for “I am bored” times.

Be emotionally available to connect with kids and teach them self-regulation and social skills:

• Turn off your phones until kids are in bed to avoid digital distraction.
• Become your child’s emotional coach. Teach them to recognize and deal with frustration and anger.
• Teach greeting, taking turns, sharing, empathy, table manners, conversation skills,
• Connect emotionally – Smile, hug, kiss, tickle, read, dance, jump, or crawl with your child.

We must make changes in our kids’ lives before this entire generation of children will be medicated! It is not too late yet, but soon it will be…"

I hope you will visit Ms Prooday's blog where you will find some very practical parenting tips:   Your OT Victoria Prooday 

~~~
I sometimes share my posts with these friends:
  Spiritual Sundays  GRAND Social      Modest Mom Monday Link-up      The Art of Homemaking Mondays
   BLOGGING GRANDMOTHERS LINK PARTY     Share Your Cup Wednesday Wordless Wednesdays    Classical Homemaking Link-Up     
    Favorite Things Home and Garden Thursday at Delightsome Life  Paula's Weekend No Rules Blog Party Friendship Friday 
Sunday Thoughts Link-Up
 OVER THE MOON LINKY PARTY!

Wisdom Wednesdays - Children Grow Up

When my children were growing up, I had a decorative plaque on the wall that read:

Cleaning and dusting can wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up we learn to our sorrow.

This quote was a guiding light for me in my house-keeping / cleaning routines.  It reminded me that my children were more important than a spotless home.  Yes, our home was clean, but I was not a neat freak as some of my friends were.  I've even quoted the saying to other mothers to remind them to keep priorities straight.

I did not know, until this week, that this quote was part of a poem:

Children Grow Up 

Mother, oh mother, come shake out your cloth!

Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

Hang out the washing and butter the bread,

Sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking!

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby, loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo).

The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew

And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo

But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren’t her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(Lullaby, rockaby, lullaby loo.)

Oh, cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

But children grow up, as I’ve learned to my sorrow.

So down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep.

I’m rocking my baby. Babies don’t keep.

~Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

Isn't it a lovely poem?  I wasn't looking for it, but stumbled across it on another blog.  I'm so glad I did because I will treasure it, 

The days of childhood are so short.  Think of it, Gail-Friends, childhood is only ten to twelve years.  These are golden, precious years to enjoy their sweet kisses and hugs.  Ten to twelve short years to play together and be as silly as you want to be.  I look back on those days of my daughters lives as the most wonderful days of my entire life.

I remind you, young mothers, you will have decades to pursue your own interests or to have a career.  Treasure and make the most of the lovely days of baby and childhood because you'll have so many lovely memories to look back on.

As a grandmother, I'm now treasuring the childhood days of my grandson and enjoying every minute with him.  It's hard to believe he's going on eight years old because the years has gone by blindingly fast.  I'm trying not to blink because he'll be graduating college before I know it.

Jem & me with him at the pumpkin patch in 2009.

Out to eat together on Mother's Day 2017

Every day is precious, Gail-Friends.  Make the most of it

Blessings,
GG




~~~~~
I sometimes share my posts with these friends:
Spiritual Sundays     Kathy’s Return to Loveliness at A Delightsome Life     GRAND Social       Modest Mom Monday Link-up      
   Growing Homemakers Link-Up      BLOGGING GRANDMOTHERS LINK PARTYTitus 2 Tuesday     Share Your Stuff Tuesday    TITUS TUESDAYS @CORNERSTONE CONFESSIONS     Wordless Wednesdays    Classical Homemaking Link-Up    Judith’s Wholehearted Wednesday     Favorite Things Home and Garden Thursday at Delightsome Life  Paula's Weekend No Rules Blog Party Friendship Friday 

Thankful Thursday - Little Ones, Dogs & Rocks

I love being around children and am grateful for all the entertainment and JOY they provide. They are the best entertainment in the world and it's all FREE!  Our grandson delights us every time we see him or talk to him on the phone.  He's quite the jokester and loves to play tricks on us, like hiding.  He's easy to find, though, because he can't stop laughing.  When he comes over, it's Play Day with Jon-a-FUN!


We're still painting rocks for  Brevard Rocks each week, and here he is with his latest creation:

I've been busy painting a family of lady bugs for the Golden Cottage back porch:

I love watching and listening to the children at our synagogue.  Here they are under the tallit for the weekly children's blessing.

The little one in the pink shawl is hilarious.  Each week, she comes in and shows me her outfit, parading and turning just like a model.  Last week, we were getting ready to leave after the service and she said, "You can't go home, Miss Gail! Play the dreidel song." (It's her favorite.) She's pretty strong-minded for a three-year-old, but I'm sure you have to be with three older brothers!

Last week, we sang a song with a video called, "As the Deer Panteth For the Water", and one of the little boys said, "That deer better watch out for the alligators!"  I said, "No, don't worry, honey, the deer is in Israel, not Florida."  He said, "What's Florida?"   He also let us know last week that he wanted to blow the shofar, which we do each week to start the service.  Here he is, and if you've ever tried to blow a shofar, you will know this is amazing for a four-year-old.

Dogs are another source of great free entertainment.  Ours is a dachshund/Jack Russel terrier mix which is quite a combination.  Even though she's got little short legs, she can jump three feet off the ground.  She bounces like Tigger!  Here she is, ready for her bike ride, with her Minnie Pearl hat on.  (Oh, yes, that's another gratitude -- I got a new three-wheel bike with a big seat and a big basket.)

Zoe is blind, but she can run like Rin Tin Tin, and her middle name is Go.  She rides in our grandson's car seat when we take her for car rides.

Zoe is quite the actress.  Lately, she has learned to moan and groan to tell you she wants something.  She cracks me up with her drama because when we first rescued her, she didn't even bark for a couple of months.  Years ago a friend told me dogs can talk and I thought that was so funny.  Now I believe it whole-heartedly.

All of our tadpoles have gone to Golden Pond.  One morning last week I was sitting on the porch and saw this:

One of the last two tadpoles had grown his front legs overnight and escaped through the hole in the top of the aquarium.  They were both relocated to Golden Pond immediately.  So, now they're all gone...and I'm grateful.  One of them came on the porch for a visit the other day:

Jem was getting ready to feed the tadpoles, and this little guy was sitting on top of the food container staring at his long lost buddies in the aquarium.  Jem took him outside to the potting table and snapped this photo.  He (and all the others) are not frogs, but tree toads.  I'm grateful they're all gone now because if one of them got on me, I'd have a hissy fit for sure.  You can read more about the tadpoles HERE.

What are you grateful for this week, Gail-Friends?

Thankful Thursday is my day of the week to focus on and be thankful for all the good things in my life.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sometimes share my posts with these friends:

Spiritual Sundays     Kathy’s Return to Loveliness at A Delightsome Life     GRAND Social       The Beauty in His Grip Link-Up   

Modest Mom Monday Link-up         Growing Homemakers Link-Up       

BLOGGING GRANDMOTHERS LINK PARTY

The Art of Homemaking Mondays Monday of Many Blessings

Happy Homemaker Monday

The Art of Homemaking

Motivate Me Monday 

Modest Monday @ The Modest Mom 

Living Proverbs 31

Inspire Me Monday @ Create With Joy 

A Round Tuit @ Creating My Way to Success 

Making Your Home Sing Monday

Amaze Me Monday
Soul Survival linkup

Inspire Me Tuesday @ A Stroll Through Life

Show & Tell

The Scoop @Stone Gable
Roses of Inspiration @ The Enchanting Rose

Titus 2 Tuesday     Share Your Stuff Tuesday    TITUS TUESDAYS @CORNERSTONE CONFESSIONS    
Wordless Wednesdays    Jennifer Dukes Lee Tell His Story  Teaching What Is Good Link-Up

Classical Homemaking Link-Up    Judith’s Wholehearted Wednesday     Raising Homemakers Wednesday     A Wise Woman Builds       Wake Up Wednesday     A Little R & R Wednesday     Wednesday's Prayer Girls & Link-Up Party Thought Provoking Thursdays at 3D Lessons 4Life     Thursday  Favorite Things 

 Home and Garden Thursday at Delightsome Life 

Friendship Friday 

31 Days of His Wisdom - Day 29 - Child Rearing

source Microsoft Office.com

 Proverbs 29 today, and this verse caught my eye and my spirit:

¹⁷ Discipline your son, and he will give you rest;
    yes, he will be your delight.

G-d blessed me with two lovely children who were and are, to this day, my delight.

I thoroughly enjoyed the years they lived at home, and the problems I had with them were minimal.  I credit this to strong discipline, and to rearing them with Biblical values.  Yes, they were spanked, and they both turned out to be lovely women and are responsible adults.   

If you've ever been around children who are not well disciplined, you can get a great perspective on this verse.  I'm sure, like me, you've been in a department or grocery store and seen a little one running around like a wild animal, wrecking the store, screaming like a banshee, and making everyone around them miserable.  If you watch the parent, you will see one of two things:  they will either ignore the child or they will scream at him / her. Needless to say, neither of these two methods of child rearing work.  

On the other hand, I've seen a young mother with five children in tow.  They hold each other's hands, walk quietly together, and do exactly what their mother says, when she says it.  When I see this, I always speak to the parent and commend them for their child-rearing skills. 

I understand exceptions apply because of medical /mental issues, but for the most part, children misbehave because they can get away with it.  If they have firm boundaries, they will be happy and will make their parents happy, too.  

My children were both very strong-willed, and one much more so than the other.  My second daughter had to be disciplined over and over again for the same issues.  There were days I thought I would just give up, but I knew discipline includes consistency.  I'd go into my bedroom and cry and pray for strength to be firm and apply the discipline, even though I was ready to give in.  It paid off.  She eventually knew I meant business and that she would not have her way.  

I tell you this story to give you courage, young mothers.  Stand your ground and be firm because the book of Proverbs teaches over and over that discipline is important in child rearing.  Proverbs 22:15 says

Doing wrong is firmly tied to the heart of a child,
    but the rod of discipline will drive it far away from him.

and Proverbs 19:18 says:

  

Discipline your son while there is hope, and do not give in to his crying. (KJV)

The Complete Jewish Version says:  don't be so angry that you kill him.  

This is important.  I can remember being angry with my children, so be careful to give yourself time out to get your emotions under control before you discipline them.  They will cry.  They won't like being disciplined.  But, think it through, be consistent, and assure them of your love always.

I encourage you to read through Proverbs, making note of the verses that deal with how to discipline and rear children.  You will be amazed.  

Disciplining children is not easy, but it is worth it -  for you, as well as the child.  

^^^
Quotations are from The Complete Jewish Bible

Each time I read through Proverbs, something different jumps out at me.  This is ADONAI quickening His Word to my heart.  

As I go through this month of studying Proverbs, I hope you'll join me and read the chapter, too.  I'll share what stands out to me for that day.  

I'd love for you to share something He shows you through the day's reading. 
I'll be linking these posts to the 31 Days event at The Nester


This 31 day series will focus on the things I learned from Proverbs, as well as some things from Torah study, and will add in a sprinkling of what I've learned from Judaism. 

I will be posting daily through October 31.  To read the posts, just go to the Labels section on the left, and click on "31 Days of His Wisdom".