Wisdom Wednesday - Listening To My Husband

On our wedding day

This post is part of series about my word for 2015, which is

Listen

As I wrote before, G-d told me to listen to His Word, His Voice, my husband, my spirit, my body, and to others.  In this post, I'll be talking about listening to my husband.

Jem and I will celebrate nine years of marriage in just a few months.  He is an amazing person, an inspiring teacher (my own personal rabbi), my dearest friend, and the best husband in the whole world.  Unless you have lived with someone who lives every one of the virtues listed in I Corinthians 13, you won't know what I mean when I say, "He is the perfect example of LOVE". 

He is patient with me and others, especially small children, the elderly, and animals.

He is kind -- more than anyone I've ever known.

He is not jealous, even when a man flirted with me recently, while Jem was sitting right there with us. (Imagine someone flirting with me, at 60+ years old.)  Jem said later, "The guy has good taste.  You're a beautiful woman."

He is not boastful, especially about G-d.  His favorite saying is, "A rabbi who praises himself has a congregation of one." I've been around a great many people who talk about G-d, but he's the only one I've ever seen who actually lived it out twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

He is not proud.  I've never known anyone so humble.  He is always willing to do the lowliest job.  He has the heart of a servant and is always looking around for someone to help.

He is never rude.  He is a fine, Southern gentleman, and rudeness is frowned upon by their kind.

He is never selfish. He is always looking out for my good.  Always looking for something he can help me with, or do that will make me smile.

He is not easily angered.  This is especially appreciated.  He is always self-controlled.  The only thing that angers him is the perversion of the Torah.  That he cannot abide.  He is like Yeshua in that.

He never keeps a record of my wrongs. This surprised me, as I have known many people who hold grudges.  Not him.  He doesn't punish with silence or aloofness, either.  We discuss things and move on.

He does not gloat over other people’s sins.  He is deeply saddened by them.  Heartbroken, and always willing to forgive and restore.

He takes delight in the truth.  He is happiest when teaching Torah

He always bears up in all things.  With the challenges associated with my mother's illness over the last three years, he has been my rock. I know I can lean on his strength.

He always trusts in G-d, and he always trusts me. 

He always speaks hope to me.  When I am sad or overwhelmed, he leads me through and encourages me.

He always endures.  He always keeps going even when I know he is exhausted.

I have to admit it - I'm bragging.  I'm proud to be his wife.  I'm blessed.  How could I not listen to someone who loves me like that? Here is a recent example:

Last week was difficult with my mother.  Her dementia is advancing and she has become increasingly angry and even combative at times.  We went to visit her at the nursing home, and she was extremely abusive that day.  I've endured this for the last three years, but it has grown worse lately.  I know it's part of the disease, but it's just heartbreaking and takes a toll on me.  I was especially weary this particular day.  As we were leaving the nursing home, I started crying and verbally beating myself up.

My dear sweet husband, who never raises his voice to me, said loudly, "STOP IT RIGHT NOW!"

I can't tell you how shocked I was that he raised his voice.  I know my mouth was standing open in disbelief.  At first, I was angry and I wanted to shout back at him.  I held my tongue and stood still for a minute to compose myself.

He looked in my eyes and said softly, "You are a wonderful woman, a loving, caring daughter, and you have gone above and beyond to love, honor, respect and care for your mother. You are not to talk to yourself that way."

Then, I heard G-d say, "Listen to your husband.  He is your advocate against satan."  And I knew it was true.  Just as I am my mother's advocate at the nursing home,  Jem was watching out for my care.  He could see that I was under attack, and he fought the enemy for me. 

That, my dear Gail-Friends, is love and better than any gift he could ever give me.  I am blessed.  I must say once again, how could I not LISTEN to someone who loves me with a I Corinthians 13 kind of love?


I listen first thing in the morning when he says, "Good Morning, Gorgeous."

I listen when he tells me he loves me several times a day, every day.


I listen when he calls me "My Lady" and tells me how beautiful I am.

I listen when he tells me to rest, because I'm over extending myself.

I listen when he says, "I'll do the dishes."

I listen when he says, "It's Pampered Princess day.  What would you like for breakfast?"

I know how blessed I am, because my past experience with marriage was not like this.  I'm so glad I said "yes" when Jem proposed to me.  Fear could have held me back, but I listened to G-d instead of fear.  

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